I went and re read my older posts and realized I change my mind a lot! But so is life. Things change, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for bad reasons, sometimes for no reason at all! I want to be honest in my posts so I guess this will continue and I hope people understand that I dont make many decisions lightly and that every situation has different aspects! I guess other than saying this I wont worry about it!

Carrie in Texas

So today was a very productive day but I am so tired! We started the day out early, we had to be at the museum at 8:45. The kids had a tour of the Leonardo DaVinci Exhibit scheduled for 9:00. We traded kids, I took Alex and Amy took Matt and Kaitlin. I took Emily and Alex to the zoo for First Monday Mornings. It was so neat, the zoologist took us on a tour of the children's area. We got to pet an alligator. It was really much different than I thought it would be. It was so smooth and Dave reminded me later in the day how many people want snakeskin boots and purses and now I understand why! Although I never would!!!

We got through and went to Pearland for lunch with "truck" mama, than we went to the grocery store. I left exhausted and it was only 1:30! We got home and took a rest than we got some history in. We are so far behind! I am so disappointed in myself for getting so far behind but it is what it is and we are just going to do what we have to. We are in Chapter 21 and learned about Genghis Khan today. I always remember hearing it pronounced "Ging" like "King" but in the SOTW they said "Ging" like "jing". It was weird.

We got our map work done and than read the Paper Dragon. It was such a neat book! I really liked it! We did copy work for Chapter 20, thanks to Trivium Academy! It was Leo Tolstoy.

"The life of a moment,

and the life of a thousand years:

Your life and the life of all the visible

and invisible beings in the world, are equal."

I really like that quote. Matt liked it also because he seems to be really affected as we study history and people are not treated equally. He wants everyone to be treated the same! It was a nice quote to be able to talk about.

I tried dictation for the first time today, usually I just write the copy work down and they copy it but today we dictated! It didn't go very well, but I will keep at it and decided to do it at least 3 times a week.

homeschooling...

I really felt when we began this adventure that i would be so good at it. I don't mean I was cocky, I just felt I would do well. I am creative, a pretty hard worker, persistent, level headed. But I guess it is just harder than I thought. Isn't that sad. I sound pathetic, I need to find a way to be better. I need to be consistent, kind, faithful, understanding, empathetic, sympathetic, peaceful, strong willed. I went on a trip with the girl scouts a few weeks ago and found a book called the Mother's Handbook. It is kicking me up one side and down the other! Basically the author reminds me of the need to show my children "love". You wouldn't think I would need to be reminded but as i get upset or frustrated about something I hear the small still voice say calm down it is just a... but rarely do I heed! After ward I apologize but I am tired of having to do that! I want to make the right decision the first time! I want my kids to learn all they need to learn but more than that I want them to become a Godly man and Godly women. I want and desire this above all else. i will do better!

Update..I am a sad blogger

wow, I am so bad at this... I havent blogged since March 27! A lot has happened! Girl Scouts are over for the year and it was taking up a lot of time and energy! I am glad for the short break! We just got back from our vacation to Branson! it was wonderful! I could not have imagined a better trip- possibly having a little more cash at our disposal to not be quite as tight as we were but seriously over all a WONDERFUL trip! I so love travel- i love seeing new things! It is just so important to me! The kids had a wonderful time! Dave and I bonded a little! We really did do really well over all, one blow up but it was swiftly dealt with and dealt with completely so that is always nice! We did tours, saw a titanic exhibit, went in a jeep ride through a cavern, relaxed, saw Prince Caspian! We truly had a wonderful time!

Busy as a bee...

this week has gone by incredibly fast. I cant believe it is Friday tommorow! We have had a full week... Tuesday was girl scouts and than a leader meeting that lasted two hours! usually at things like that i am literally chomping at the bit to get out of there but I didnt even realize that much time had gone by and we missed kaitlin's piano lesson! I could not believe it! I just love being in charge of things, I really need to work on my control issue. I dont always think it is a bad control issue because I usually dont have to "have it my way or the highway" it is more I want to make it as good, special, nice etc and think I can achieve that. I dont always think other people cant achieve it but I jsut know that I can. does that make sense? I love things to run well, I like for people to be pleased with what they came out of it with, I love for everyone to "get" something or feel something.

Wednesday we went to Spring to work on moms house... I painted and did all kinds of stuff- still trying not to feel "responsible" but it is hard. I am sending out info to my network of friends and if something isnt up to par than maybe when I do want to do something they will associate me with something not done well.

Thursday...gymnastics, school work, grocery store, school work, piano, Walmart, tennis lesson..... ahhhhh!

tommorow is our day at the MFAH, I am excited to go and do a class with the kids, we are taking out sketching notebooks and i am just so excited although I am tired and want to just stay home!

Gotta sleep or at least head that way!

Carrie in Texas

Monday, March 24

Yesterday was Easter, I didnt even go to church. I am pretty sure this is only the second time in my whole life that I did not go to church on Easter Sunday. It felt weird and strange. I have had an overwhelming feeling at the church we are currently attending and was sure Easter Sunday would be exceptionally crowded and overwhelming and I just couldnt do it. I knew the kids classes would be extra large and Emily barely stays as it is! I woke up and explained to the kids why we werent going, we did a devotion together and went over again why this day is celebrated... we have been studying on it a few days in bible time. Than we did something really strange! We went to a 10:30 showing of Horton Hears a Who!!!!! We were supposed to go Saturday night but had gotten in an accident on 59S so since we had already told the kids they were going this weekend so we went. It sure cost us a whole lot less!

Anyway, I feel like I should feel terribly guilty but yet I don't. I celebrate what Jesus did for me everyday.

On to less weird thougts and confessions...

my brother in laws grandmother passed on Friday. It is very sad but she was 96 and lived one of the fullest lives I know! She did not suffer or linger, she went quickly and quietly. She was such a wonderful lady... I realized that I have known her for over 12 years! That is a long time...my life is feels like it is moving very fast.

I have come to a conclusion in the past few days, going back to the coversation I had about boundaries... I really need to read the book! I need to except that while I can give people advice ( when they ask) and I can offer to help (when asked) but after that I am not responsible for what they do. I know, wow, what a concept. I am not responsible for how another person's life turns out! I am responsible for me, my family, my children! I have so many good ideas and people might occasionally want to hear them, but if I give them I am not the one who has to make the idea come to fruitation ( is that that right phrase)! I am praying that God keeps that in the front of my mind all day, every day!

Carrie in Texas

Post Number 3

I got an email from a friend who had started a blog and seriously it reminded me that I have one! You cannot believe how serious I am! So here I am 6 plus months later adding to my "daily" blog! Well to catch up... organization is pretty much out the window and I have actually used very little of my system. The Girl Scout Troop is great, I have actually graduated to Daisy leader so that is something else on my list! I do really like it though...it might have something to do with my control issues though! Awanas is good and I just ordered a at home devotinal form the Awana website it looks really neat. The year has gone really fast so far, to recap on the end of last year we went to DisneyWorld- I cant begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it, every minute of it! I cant wait to go back again but have so many other places on my list of "places to see..." that it will be awhile! Christmas was great, not the best Chirstmas ever but good, I truly want next year to just be calm and vow to go away to a hotel to get my way!

Dave is enjoying his job, which has changed some since we last chatted. There are aspects he doesnt like as well but they are trying to work out the kinks. He got work car. I will have to post pictures of it for you to understand...

Sarah Jean is here... for those who dont know Sarah Jean is the daughter of my heart! She lived with Dave and I for a few years when she was young and I home schooled her. She has always held a very special place in my heart and we are glad to have her back home! She came in tow with a husband, Robbie and a daughter Emily Jean! Emily Jean calls me NANA. I love it! I am so excited to have them in our lives daily!!!

Okay my thoughts, now that we have caught up a little lets get back to my thoughts on things...

I have been having a hard time with boundaries lately. I know, I know read the book! I will get around to it! I feel like I have not said no enough or when I said yes I did not really lay down the law and my exact involvement so I have in a sense totally overbooked myself! I am right now sucking it up and doing what needs to be done! I usually work better that way- I am a person who usually does better the fuller the plate. I dont feel that way right now, I guess the word is overwhelmed. I not only have a full plate I feel like I have a few plates stacked to high! I need to let something go but what will it be...

my mom has started a business and I am very happy for her. She rented a house in Old Town Spring and plans to have homeschooling classes and all kinds of different activities. It is right up my alley as far as things I like to do and the only problem is that it is well over 45 minutes away! I have to decide how involved I will be, in one hand if I go and do classe, which my kids will attend, I can base a lot on them on things my kids need and that is a bonus. On the other hand it is far away, i have responsibilities here and need to get Sarah Jean back and forth to work in odd hours and have Emily Jean when either one of them or working. I actually love having her but I am concerned about making plans and not being able to do it all. I cant pick Sarah up if I am in Spring... vice versa. I am hoping to work it out but we will see how things progress. It is not about keeping Emily Jean, she is such a wonderful easy baby, it boils down to me being unable to be in two places at once... anyone got a pill for that!

The kids are being a handful right now, it seems to go in phases and this is one of those phases, there are lots of things going on and difference so some of their behaviour can be attributed to that but also it just seems to be something they do! It is hard, we are having lots of talks- trying to be creative with punishments and having more severe punishments to make a point. For instance Kate and Matt lost movies and computer for an entire week! We have never taken away anything for a week yet. We will see if it makes any difference at all.

We stated doing a study of the fruits of the spirit, I told one of my friends that I have hemmed and hawed over starting this because I see so little fruit coming from myself lately that I haveing a hard time teaching about it! Does that make sense???

Okay, enough for now.. Hopefully it will not be another 6 months!

Carrie in Texas